remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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