So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
