Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I am one with the molecules
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
