I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
