just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
