Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
