High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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