I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
