I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
