There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
