i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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