are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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