she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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