dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize