i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
