why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize