dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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