Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize