i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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