Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The uberlube is also flammable
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
