I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize