We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my being single is dangerous.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
