a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
