You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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