my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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