plz talk dirty to me
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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