Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
