he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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