no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
