We should be called the Road Head Warriors
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
