**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
