she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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