Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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