I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
