Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
