We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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