he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
