Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
