Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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