38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
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