Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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