I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
