i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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