Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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