so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize