She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
