atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
