Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
