just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize