we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
