he told me I talked like a deaf person
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The feeling are messing with the penis
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Two words: blizzard sex
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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