This is not my ceiling
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
