he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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