last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
When are your genitals available?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
