none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
