He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
