i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize