She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize