I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
