babies were throwing up all over the place
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
