Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize