i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
