just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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