Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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