I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
