I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
