i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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