She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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