I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
